50 Shades of Grey Review

July 23, 2015 // 0 Comments

The young impressionable English lit major (note: only female authors who type with one hand down their pants normally have the audacity to make their heroine an English lit major) Anastasia Steele begins a tortured romance with reclusive millionaire Christian Grey in a movie bad enough to make me reconsider my stance on eugenics. In order to hold [...]

Revenge Review

July 22, 2015 // 0 Comments

I was up late the other night and caught this movie on TV and was surprised I had not heard of it before. Then while watching it, it occurred to me just how easy a movie this would have been to forget. 1990 was a very important year in Kevin Costner’s career for reasons that have nothing to do with this film. This was the year, as you will [...]

John Wick Review

July 20, 2015 // 0 Comments

John Wick is a retired mafia hitman living the dream, until one sad day his wife dies of cancer. Before she does though she gifts him with a farewell puppy. Of course, because this is an action movie, you know this puppy is doomed, and also the people who bring doom upon the puppy are equally doomed. It really isn’t rocket science sometimes. All [...]

Death Wish V: The Face of Fear Review

July 17, 2015 // 1 Comment

Paul Kersey had the worst damn luck of perhaps any movie character in history. I would say tied with John McLane, but all McLane had to worry about was getting trapped in the occasional building. Kersey repeatedly has loved ones mowed down in gruesome life scarring ways. At the time of this movie he is officially a grandpa aged gentleman looking, [...]

Death Wish 4: The Crackdown Review

July 16, 2015 // 0 Comments

Paul Kersey is headed west, again for the fourth installment of the Death Wish series. This time around there is a bit more plot, but still just as much action including what is admittedly a pretty awesome finale involving a bazooka. That said, Bronson really started looking to old and worn out for the part by this time and obviously could not [...]

Death Wish 3 Review

July 15, 2015 // 0 Comments

Death Wish 3 is as perfect a bad movie as I can imagine. It is completely over the top and makes absolutely no pretenses as to what it is about. Paul Kersey is far removed from the meek and mild architect from the first movie and has now become a professional “neighborhood population control expert”. Armed with a hand cannon (.475 Wildey [...]

Death Wish 2 Review

July 14, 2015 // 0 Comments

Death Wish goes west is probably a more appropriate title to this sequel. As a kid in love with macho badasses Charles Bronson was, of course, one of my heroes. And in retrospect it is Bronson’s presence alone that saves this one from being a nearly complete dud, that and cheesy lines every now and then such as “Do you believe in Jesus? (Punk [...]

Death Wish Review

July 13, 2015 // 0 Comments

This is unapologetic male revenge fantasy, made all the more powerful and terrifying by how gritty and realistic it is portrayed. The character of Paul Kersey is not the sort of man you expect to see played by Charles Bronson, at first that is. He’s a quiet architect whose politics definitely lean toward the anti-gun side of the fence, but that [...]

True Lies Review

July 2, 2015 // 0 Comments

I don’t know if this is Arnold Schwarzenegger’s best action movie, but I believe it may be my personal favorite. This is a good example of a very smart dumb movie. Arnold plays an American version of James Bond by night, and a normal loving boring husband by day, to his wife played by the smoking hot at the time Jamie Lee Curtis. Arnold’s [...]

Con Air Review

June 18, 2015 // 0 Comments

A man (Nicolas Cage) catching a plane ride home from a four year stint in prison after accidentally killing the men who tried to attack his pregnant wife finds himself on board a plane full of lifers/death row convicts who take over the plane in an elaborate attempt to gain their freedom. This movie is a perfect exercise in ridiculous excess. [...]