Sleepwalkers Review

What a painfully bad movie this is. Who wrote this crap? Stephen King took credit for this? You’re kidding me? The same guy that wrote shit like Misery, The Shining, Carrie, and The Green Mile? What did who do wrong here?

Basically what we have, is these two people, a mother and son. Only they aren’t humans, they’re what’s known as sleepwalkers. No, not the people who get up and walk around while they are asleep, but rather some sort of giant, hairless dog looking things that suck the life force out of virgin girls to survive. Hmmm…sucking the life out of virgin girls, sounds like a theme for a porno. Sadly, this isn’t anywhere near as entertaining. And what is the weakness of the sleepwalkers? Pussy. Pussy cats that is. You perverts thought I meant something else didn’t you? That would’ve been more interesting too.

And our lucky virgin in this flick is Tanya (Amick), who is pretty damn hot, but sadly never gets naked. Tanya falls for the new guy in town and resident sleepwalker Charles (Krause), but they have differing ideas of what their relationship will consist of. While Tanya thinks she may end up riding this guy like a thoroughbred in the Kentucky Derby, Charles wants to share his newfound prize with his mother, and not in a twisted Jerry Springer sort of way.

Please drink or smoke up before if you must watch this movie. There are a couple decent laughs, and some unintentional ones as well, which is about the only thing that saved it from garnering 0 star status.

Sleepwalkers gets a one out of five: BAD.

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